Erin Rose
Positive Detroit

Contrary to what the popular song “delicately” implies, ONE is NOT the loneliest number that you could ever be.  In fact, it has quite a few perks. Really, I swear.  So, put that raised cynical brow back in its happy place (in order to delay those "business lunches" with your Dermatologist for those pesky and pricey Botox injections) and read on.

For just short of three years, I have been happily single. Yeah, that’s right, the single girl is writing an article about how you too should embrace your single-status.  Now, I promise I'm not pimping myself out with this admittance, although if I do gain a boyfriend from this article, it would make my mother very happy (that's for you ma!).  So when one of my close married friends mentioned the below article over dinner this past week, the idea for this blog post was born.

But first, I must make use of this soapbox for a few more sentences.  There’s the disclaimer.  Oh and one more thing, I don’t have any degrees in psychology.  Just life experience.

I hear stories constantly of women who beat themselves up because they aren’t in a relationship, or married, or have children.  You know what I say to that? "Boo Hoo. Get over it!"  Yes, I do take the tough love approach, but reaaaaallllllly, please explain the benefits of being depressed over not sharing an “us” label with someone else.  And this goes for EVERYONE, Men included. Just because the media/advertising industry's target audience neglects you lately, doesn't require that you fall for their trap and feel sorry for yourself. Remember, they want people to be in relationships on Feb. 14th because that's how they make $$$.  The more couples, the more $$$.  Think about it.  I know it's Valentine's Day, but retailers want to be in the black, not the red.

So, let’s have a Dr. Phil get real moment, shall we?  Do you honestly believe focusing day in and day out on what you don’t have and beating yourself up for it is how you visualize living your life?  HELL NO!  So, embrace your opportunities, enjoy your freedom, and BE HAPPY. Define yourself for being you, not because of your relationship status or lack there of.  So at this very moment, ixnay the self-loathing for being sans partner, especially on Valentine’s Day.  Remember this holiday is to celebrate LOVE, including love for one's self. And again this holiday lasts one day, O-N-E D-A-Y people.

Onward and Forward
Below is the article from my dear friend Alexandra.  No Kleenex required.

No tacky pressies
Being single means that you don't have to pretend to like the cheap chocolates, flowers or teddy bear that your other half coughs up. You know those gifts, the ones that leave you with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach as you realise that this person doesn't really know you at all.

Being single also means that you don't have to shell out your hard-earned cash on tat. Singletons relax while others are hunting for a late-night petrol station selling limp flowers.  Spend the money you save on a pressie for yourself. There's no gift quite as good as the one you pick yourself, whether it be a facial, a haircut, or a good DVD.

To Russia with love
Alternatively, save up for a plane ticket to Russia.  On March 8 every year, all women are given flowers, chocolate and a day off work, just for being female.  We like Russia.

It's cool to be single
Valentine's Day singles are the trendsetters.  Figures from the Office for National Statistics show that the number of people choosing to stay single has reached record levels.  The UK is now home to more than 1.65m single men and 1.27m women.  Good news for flirty girls!

Single people have busier social lives than couples, according to Edinburgh University researchers.  We may not get a tacky teddy on 14 February (shame), but we're having more parties.

Better to be single than an unhappy couple
Remind yourself that coupledom does not guarantee happiness.  Valentine's Day means stress for a lot of couples, with worries about what to buy and whether their other half will remember.  Being single is less lonely than being unhappily attached.

Your day is your own.  You can get up when you want (having spent the whole night asleep because you weren't lying next to a snorer), come home when you want, eat what you want, watch what you want on the telly and go to bed when you want.  Try to find a repeat of Wife Swap on V-Day.  Seeing those coupled-up nightmares yelling at each other should bring some comfort.

Enjoy being different
Have you ever tried going out for a romantic dinner on Valentine's Day?  It's not dinner for two, it's the feeding of the 5,000 - in every restaurant in town.

Romance is about spontaneity and imagination, and Valentine's Day can have nothing to do with those things. Psychologist Dr Laura Brown of Seattle's Argosy University says: 'Love is not about a particular day, or cards or flowers, or even being in a relationship.  Seeing the illusory nature of this holiday can be the first step in feeling better about it.'

Celebrate friendships
Valentine's Day is the perfect day to celebrate friendship.  The love you give to and receive from friends will last longer than most romantic love or lust.  Arrange a single's Valentine's party with a group of single friends, male and female. You can bet that there'll be at least one new couple by the end of the evening.

It is a surprisingly good time to flirt with fellow singles.  Valentine's Day and the impending joys of spring bring lots of singles out of the woodwork.

So use today as a kick-start to getting out there.  Just don't fall into the mindset that you have to be in a couple to be happy.

Start meeting other single people near you for fun, love or romance.
So, you may be curious as to what this gal is doing for her Valentine's Day 2010.  She's heading north to a ski lodge with 10 of her friends.  Some are married, some in relationships, some single.  Most important, lots of fun.

With that said, I wish everyone a happy, full-filled, and adventurous Valentine's Day 2010!

P.S. Do you have a great idea on how to spend this year's Valentine's Day in Detroit?  Don't be shy and click on the "comment" tab below!

P.P.S Are you a Swingin' Single ready to mingle and happen to live in the Mitten State?  Click Here


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