I am writing today to discuss what I believe may be one of the largest sporting scandals in Detroit history, and have hope that Dunkin Donuts and Comerica Park will do the right thing before it becomes a media circus. I have had a 28 game package for the Detroit Tigers for the past 2 years now and attend even more games than that per season (including playoffs). My section is 147, which places me strictly in the "Cuppy Coffee" section of the Dunkin Donuts Race. Throughout the past two years, I can count on one hand the amount of times Cuppy has come through and won this race. What was simply a fun event at the ballpark became a minor annoyance and now is turning into a white whale. Do I want the free donut or coffee that comes with winning the donut race? No, that is not what this is about at all. This is about competitive equity.

It isn't that Cuppy Coffee doesn't win, Biggie Bagel also is constantly falling behind as well. Dashing Donut is miles ahead of its competition when it comes to consistently winning this race. Perhaps this is why the race is called the Dunkin "Donuts" race, because of the excessive number of wins by Dashing Donut. I firmly suspect that Dashing Donut is on performance enhancers. While yes, you could assert that Dashing Donut is fast because of a natural "sugar high," the same argument could be used for Cuppy Coffee's "caffeine buzz" and yet we do not see those kind of results. An investigation would be in order so that we can get the Donut into a rehabilitation program before he (she?) ruins their life. The well-being of all competitors should be looked after first.

I trust that your respective corporations will do the right thing in this instance for the athletes. In the meantime, I will still shout for my Tiger's Phil Coke, Jeff Kunkel, and Miguel Cabrera while cheering loudly for Cuppy Coffee.

Click HERE to read the equally, if not more hilarious comments....


Anonymous said...

I have thoroughly enjoyed this write up...lol. I whole heartedly agree that Cuppy Coffee rarely wins! Time for some equality in the Dunkin Donuts Race. :)

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